These Songs Are Important to Me

If there's anything you need to know about me, it's that music is one of my biggest passions. It's often my only outlet for my complex emotions, and the lyrics say more about me than I could ever express verbally. So, I thought I would make a list of songs that have touched me with their meaning and/or sentimentality throughout the years, and let you listen to them for your own pleasure and insight into the mystery of Amelia.

Mr. Brightside by The Killers
This is one of my all-time favorite songs ever in the history of my existence. Click the link above for why, but primarily, do yourself a favor and press play on the video.

Landslide by Fleetwood Mac
Same for this one. The link says it all. Quite a change of mood, here, but it's still beautiful.

Every Little Thing She Does is Magic by The Police
This band has always been playing since I was a little girl, and this song always seemed like the most beautiful love song a band could write. It's a tribute to how wonderful 'every little thing' a girl does is. I swear, if some guy were to sing this about me, I'd never leave them.

1979 by Smashing Pumpkins
This song was popular back when I sat in a car-seat, and for that reason, it's always been a song filled with a lot of childhood nostalgia for me. But, when I started listening to the actual lyrics of the song, I came to realize that the whole meaning of it is about longing for the good old days when they were younger; back in 1979. I was born in 1997. Coincidence? I THINK NOT. There's just too much awesomeness going on in this song.

Float On by Modest Mouse
I first heard this song on a family vacation up in a place called Gualala. Never heard of it? I thought so. It's basically a small cloudy town by a beach in California. The house we were staying in was located right on a cliff overlooking the ocean, and as an ocean lover, it really was a beautiful place to stay. Well, as is typical of my family, we brought the video game Rock Band along with us for this trip (music, man, I'm telling you...) and late at night as all the kids had attempted to fall asleep, one of my cousins played this song in the living room, and as I laid there in the dark, it was the most beautiful song I had ever heard. Images of the ocean and mermaids and an overwhelming sense of calm overcame me. Now whenever I listen to that song, memories of the sea come to mind, and the peaceful night falling asleep in Gualala.

Help I'm Alive by Metric
I heard this song more recently, but the lyrics caught my attention immediately. I interpreted it to mean that just the mere act of living can be more frightening than even death, and I can't tell you how much I relate to it. And the song is just really well done.

Father and Daughter by Paul Simon
Oh, this song... This song makes me cry every time I listen to it. It really is the most perfect song about a father loving his daughter. The lyrics. The guitar lick. It radiates awesomeness.

Heroes by David Bowie
OH GOOD LORD DAVID NOW YOU'VE DONE IT. As if David Bowie wasn't already awesome in every way, he had to sing this song too. You've probably heard it before, because it's on the radio all the time and it's a classic, but it really is taken for granted. If you were to turn this song on just before you go to sleep, you would escape to a dreamland only David Bowie could take you to, and all you'd ever want is to be a hero with him, "just for one day". Honestly, do you know how many times I've imagined him actually serenading me with this song? SWOON.

Love Your Abuser by Lymbyc Systym
I've written about this song in an earlier, and there's a reason. It's unlike any other song I've heard. There are no lyrics, but even so, the music is so influential in itself that it doesn't need any.

The Scientist by Coldplay
Want to make me cry? Turn this song on. Let me explain my history with Coldplay- when I was little, and we're talking 5th grade, I hated the band with a burning passion. I used to think that Coldplay was a spineless crybaby band and that they only produced musical crap. I was really annoying about the whole subject, until one night I found that I had the album Rush of Blood to the Head sitting on my iPod, and I decided to take a listen just for kicks. The first song I heard was The Scientist, and even though I had heard it before nonchalantly on the radio, I was completely naive to how amazingly beautiful it was. In the middle of the night as it poured rain out my window, this song hummed gently in my ear, and sentimental thoughts overwhelmed me to the point of tears. I can't explain why I love this song so much, or why it makes me cry, but it does.

The rest of these have no profound insight into my personality, but they're a few of my favorite songs EVER, and I'm feeling generous.

Kids by MGMT

D'yer Mak'er by Led Zeppelin

Island in the Sun by Weezer

Feel It All Around by Washed Out

She's Got You High by Mumm-Ra

Daydreaming by Paramore

Chocolate by The 1975

Amelia by Bell-X1

...You're welcome.

Excerpts From Various Notebooks #2

I'm dazzled that I'm alive, that I actually made it past all the unfathomable "what-ifs" prior to my birth. Still, though, I feel somewhat unwelcome. I feel inadequate and unimportant towards the precious purpose of existence. Like accidentally getting into Harvard without having put in the necessary effort; not being good enough. I feel like I belong to an inferior race of human beings- the accidents. Those just meekly meandering the planet, using oxygen, burning through supplies, and feeling guilty for it each and every day.

The girl was like a furnace. A fire churned inside her, roasting her insides, and when she spoke, out came fireworks.

I walked out of my bedroom, the soulless pit of lukewarm familiar...

The fact that I look different, I think different, I was raised different, and I want different things is scary,but it's also somehow beautiful. To think that I'm that special. No one on earth is the same as me. Not a single one. So from that angle, I guess that means there's less competition...

This is a world of "just do it" and "act first, think later" and "do what they're doing" and I just can't.

The fact that everyone that catches a glimpse of me immediately develops an opinion of me TERRIFIES ME.


I don't like feeling girly. I do enjoy feeling feminine from time to time.

I'm not pretty, but I think I can compensate for that by hiding in my hair and wearing the right jeans.

There's something really beautiful about swimming. It's not just 'fun'; it really is a spiritual experience for me. The act of dipping yourself into a body of water, putting yourself in an environment that completely defies the laws of gravity, and maneuvering your way through. You weave yourself in and out of the clear, sparkling liquid, and even though you have no air to sustain you, you're still alive and well, completely safe. I love observing things underwater. I love laying at the bottom of the pool and just watching the water swirl the sky. It's fantastic. But what's fantastic in another way is getting out, and comforting yourself with dry clothing. Drying off is one of the most comforting things in the world after a swim. I honestly don't know which part I enjoy the most. But when your clothing warms you up after a wonderful swim, it kind of cradles you into a sleepy state of being, and your body turns into jello.

'In the moment' lasts an eternity. But it's when you're pondering over your collections of memories and all the fantastic moments of your life that you realize that time goes by faster than any force in the universe. So, how can anyone possibly expect me to live in the thick, syrupy presence of the now when I have shattered pieces of time scattered precariously all over the floor around me? I must find where all these pieces connect! Really, where did all the time go?

I have a diamond sitting inside of me. It's brilliant and beautiful, but the longer it sits within me, the heavier it weighs, slowly ripping apart my insides. All I've ever wanted to do was to show it to somebody, but it's molded a home within me, a nest of its own, and if I were to rip it out, it would blind people to death, and I would bleed out more of my soul than I ever intended.