Friday, December 5, 2014

"What Are You Doing After High School?"

AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

*Ahem* My apologies... *Hyperventilates*  As a senior in high school, I have found that this delightful question comes up on a far too regular basis. It could be my dentist, or a visiting relative, or a friend at school, or the photographer of my senior photo- as soon as they find out how old I am, this is the question first on their minds. Now, I get that it's mostly an impulse question. It's only natural to wonder about a teenager's first steps into adulthood. However, I don't think they're enough aware of the weight of the question they're asking.

Sure, for most kids my age, the answer is fairly second nature. "I'm going to [such-and-such-a] college to study [whatever]." And whatever adult that asked this will beam with pride over their prestigious choice, and the overall success they will have in life. To all the kids out there that are this on top of things, I applaud you, even envy you. Because I do not have the foggiest notion of what I'm doing once I get that diploma. Other than panicking, struggling to appear normal, and ultimately death, the rest of my life is left pretty much unplanned.

It's not that I haven't thought about it- trust me, 98% of my life is spent pondering over my inevitable future. In my spare time, I daydream about the various countries I want to travel to, the people I'll meet, and the development of me as an individual. The idea of my life within the next 10 years absolutely enthralls me. What I plan on doing in the next 7 months, however, scares the living hell out of me.



Let me just establish something- I do not want to go to college. I even wrote a whole other post in a tangent against the idea. It's just not my thing. In an English assignment earlier this year, I wrote, "So, you may be reading this figuring that because my first plan after high school is getting a job, I'm either slacking off and not going to a 4 year college, or I have some plan to do it later. Well, actually, no. The more I learned about college- all the money, time and energy required to even get into one- and after pondering over the concept of 4 more years of optional school- all the nauseating tests and partying with kids I don't like just to get a degree for a future career that I may not even want to follow through on- sounded like a colossally, monumentally expensive waste of time, and I am perfectly content with skipping all the hassle and just getting a job, which is the ultimate goal of college anyway. A job is a job. I get paid, the money gets flushed back into the system, it's all good. A career does the same thing." Alright, this isn't to persuade you all to think that you shouldn't go to college. I suck at persuasion. I'm simply defending my lack of desire for it. You want to go to college? Go for it. There are plenty of people who don't despise school with every fiber of their being like I do, and they are all college students, starting a new generation of doctors, lawyers, and everything in between. But will I ever become a doctor or a lawyer? OH GOD NO.

And relax. If you think I'm going to be broke at the age of 26 and I'll get that desperate, I can go to a community college no problem. You can do that at any age. Why there is so much crippling pressure for teens to make important life decisions immediately after high school is beyond me.

THAT'S ANOTHER THING. I want to develop myself as a human being before I leap into a career that I'll regret for years to come. I'm one of those people that wants to "see the world" (corny, I know). I want to meet people outside of my own age group for once. Do you know how miserable it is to be surrounded by this generation of teenagers? I don't understand any of them. I want to experience new things without having an assignment due every week. I want to focus on my spirituality and on my wholeness as a person. I don't want my job to define me in that regard. I want to get paid, sure, but I want to LIVE primarily, work secondarily. I've spent my entire life so far living the demanding, lifeless routine of schooling- don't you think it's time I moved on?

And my interests have never been all that worthy of hardcore education, anyway. I live for the arts. If I were to choose my majors in college, I would be vacillating between music, writing, photography, and drawing- all classic majors with minimal benefit in the real world. You know what I would end up with in the end? 4 more years of my life with nothing really to show for it except for slightly improved art skills. Don't get me wrong, here- I see the benefit too. More job opportunities would definitely come my way. But the life of an artist is one of the most difficult to receive consistent paychecks. That's fine- I've never been much of a cheerleader for consistence, anyway. I just would rather do it independently. One thing I know about me is that when I make something I love required, I start to hate it. I'd rather keep my work and my passions divided to a certain degree. Ya feel me?

I realize this makes me appear to be one of those hippie-dippie chicks that'll struggle to pay rent the rest of my life. Sure, but I'll remind you that I'm just a stupid kid right now, and I have no idea what my future will look like. I'm not even 18 yet, and I'm supposed to be applying to colleges and plotting my whole life based on a career? Um... no thanks. At least not yet. I can't commit to something that huge yet.

*Phew* Okay. It's been said. Of course, none of what I've said here would be simple or concise enough to explain to anyone who casually asks me what I'm doing after high school. I've thought about it extensively, but the best answer I can come up with on the spot is spinelessly stating "probably DVC." And that's still very possible. "Are you planning on transferring anywhere after that?" they'll often ask. No. I see no need to. I don't want my experiences in my budding youth to be molded by peers of the same status as me. That's so boring. I want to travel to islands I've never been to. Make friends with 80 year olds. Maybe write a memoir. You know? That is the lifestyle I want. I've never been into the idea of sorority sisters, school spirit, hanging around people that are into exactly the same things as everyone else, tests, GPA's, and all that jazz. I have a burning, irrational hatred for the whole concept. But whenever I explain this to people, I find that as usual, I'm the odd one out.

But, if all else fails, I could just say this and be on my merry way:


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